Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct (True or False) and circle the T or F as appropriate.


1. A clitoris is a type of flower. T F


2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. T F


3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. T F


4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble. T F


5. Menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels. T F


6. A G-string is part of a violin. T F


7. Semen is another word for "sailor". T F


8. Anus is the Latin word for "yearly". T F


9. Testicles are found on an octopus. T F


10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles. T F


11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. T F


12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas. T F


13. Coitus is a musical instrument. T F


14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke". T F


15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. T F


16. A condom is an apartment complex. T F


17. An organism is the person who accompanies the chior in church. T F


18. A diaphram is a drawing in geometry. T F


19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. T F


20. An erection is when the Japanese vote for their new government officials. T F


21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. T F


22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass. T F


23. Pornography is the business of making record albums. T F


24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins. T F


25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve". T F


26. An enema is someone who is not your friend. T F


27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese. T F

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,"And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend said: "The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said, "You are The woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long."

The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night."

The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said,

"Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

Ah Beng bought a new mobile. He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

Ah Beng: I am a proud because my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Ah Beng: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be OK.
Ah Beng: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng: If I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Ah Beng: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng: People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng: When I went to the park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! You have come again.

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng: 'I was watching TV news...'

Ah Beng comes back to his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says
'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

Ah Beng: Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng: The future tense is 'you will go to jail'

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng: 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Bill Gates: Heaven or Hell?

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!""Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???"

"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.

-

And then the fight started ....

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'an inch of dust!!'
And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....